Outnumbered Four to One: April 2013

Friday, April 19, 2013

Please Don't Judge Me

I understand that there are too many C-sections in this world today (1 in 3 women); however, I am sick of reading articles that make me feel bad about myself for having a C-section and not choosing a VBAC for my second (or third) child. Maybe I'm just a bit defensive about it (I NEVER planned on having a C-section), but I would do it again.

It wasn't like I chose a C-section out of convenience...I was induced at 42 weeks after never having a single contraction. I was maybe dilated to a 1 1/2 and was maybe 30% effaced. After three rounds of postglandins (and 9 hours later) they were ready to put me on pitocin. A couple of hours later, my water broke. I struggled through contractions all night long, and at about 6 am (after being at the hospital 24 hours), I got an epidural. There was just so much pressure on my spine, and I couldn't handle it. The epidural made it so I didn't feel the contractions, but I still had immense pressure on my spine and tailbone. At about 11 AM, they took me off pitocin because I was still at a 2. They thought maybe my body would start by itself....NO! They put me on it again a couple of hours later. Finally around 5:30 pm, my doctor came in and checked me (I hadn't seen him in about five hours). I was STILL at a 2. He told me I could wait for another hour or so, but he thought I'd need a C-section. This was after being at the hospital for 35 1/2 hours and not eating the whole time. You bet I was ready for a C-section. Apparently my body just wasn't going to deliver any other way.

I know I've left out a lot of details, but it was just so uneventful. I never progressed past a 2. Actually, the head nurse (a second cousin of mine), told my sister later that she took one look at me and knew I wouldn't deliver vaginally. I just never dropped.

At 6:30 PM Jacob was born, 9 pounds and 8 oz. The doctor never predicted he was that big. Maybe that's why he never dropped...Maybe I just don't deliver vaginally very easily (My Grandma VH had three vaginal births using "high forceps" with massive tearing, followed by 4 C-sections.) Anyway, having a C-section was not really my first choice, but I certainly didn't feel pressured by the doctor like so many people think is happening frequently. It was definitely the best decision for me at the time. Yes, my recovery was not great, especially with cellulitis and an infected incision. It took 11 weeks for it to completely heal; but I still knew we made the best decision.

For my next baby I wasn't really given a choice to do a VBAC. I was living in Los Banos, and they didn't do VBACs there. (I don't even know where the nearest hospital was that did do VBACs.) However, I didn't care. My first experience was so horrible with trying to be induced for 36 hours that I thought a scheduled C-section sounded great. Yes, it was more convenient. I knew the date, and I could prepare for it in a way that many cannot. I ate breakfast, drove to the hospital, and had a baby two hours later. I was walking around post surgery 10 hours before I even had the baby the first time. This is where I feel the most criticism...for not "trusting my body" and fighting for a VBAC.

For my third, it wasn't even a question. After two C-sections, I don't think any doctor would highly recommend a VBAC. And, it was so nice to know what to expect.

I know the recovery is much harder after a C-section, but I feel confident that the right decisions were made each time. As I said, I never felt pressured by doctors, and I don't regret it at all. Of course, part of me wonders if my second could have been born vaginally, but who knows if I would have struggled through induction only to have another surgery? And, I definitely feel left out when women tell their birth stories, especially when they deliver naturally without any drugs. However, I resent the superiority of some that they made the sacrifice for their child, and I took the easy way out. Maybe I am just being defensive and sensitive. They deserve to be proud for delivering naturally. However, I'm proud for recovering from three C-sections without a ton of help after the first week.

So, please be careful what you say to a C-section woman. We may be happy with our decision, but with so many women out there criticizing C-sections, sometimes we may feel defensive and sensitive. What really matters is that the baby is born safely, right? How it gets there, doesn't really make a whole lot of difference in the long run.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Three Months!

I guess I forgot to do Josiah's three-month post. We'll here it is, over a week late!

Weight: from what I can guess 13 pounds, 11 oz. (He still is gaining about an ounce a day!)
Length: 24 1/2 inches

Misc:
-He nurses about 7 times a day

-He often sleeps a five to six hour stretch at night, then a three-hour stretch before waking up for the day.

-He takes a VERY long morning nap in his swing (sometimes three hours!) I'm starting to wonder if I should make him wake up to see if he'll sleep more at night. Last night he played in bed for about an hour before he was ready to go back to sleep.

-He still needs to be swaddled to sleep. I don't know when I should try to break him of the habit. Will he just one day decide he doesn't like it anymore? I've never had a kid who liked it, nor did I have a full-sized swing, so I'm open to any advice you have.

-He rarely takes naps in his crib--swing usually or the carseat. Most of this is because I'm busy with the other two or trying to maintain an always messy house. Here's another bad habit I've allowed him to get into.

-He LOVES his brothers and often gives them HUGE smiles when he sees them. He enjoys his activity gym.

-He's starting to use the purple bumbo from his older cousins Madelyn and Makayla. He sits for about five minutes before his head begins to lean to one side.

-He's constantly eating his hands...teething?

Picture time!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Spring Break/Easter 2013

This year we actually went away for Larry's Spring Break. While it was definitely a vacation, it was a pretty inexpensive one as we stayed two nights by Larry's parents and three nights by my sister. The boys got to see almost all of their aunts, uncles, and cousins (We missed the de Jongs in Idaho, though!). They also got to see both sets of grandparents and Grandpa Jack and Great Oma (my mom's parents). It was so nice to get away for five nights and not have to cook dinner, clean the house, get groceries, or empty the dishwasher. The boys did really well with missing some naps, going to bed late, and sleeping in strange places (Johnny slept in a closet with the door open...).